Chris Ryan

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devo:

ZERO OPTION
It's been a few years since I read ZO, but I didn't make any connection at the time towards B20, other than the setting for the mission. I felt more a connection towards B20 in his first GS-book, "Stand by, stand by", where there was - oddly enough -
a more "McNabbish" point of view (or at least, POW-view). I'm referring to the fact that GS is having reoccuring nightmares (being impaled by a large wooden stick), and that he suffers from an injury in his arm, inflicted upon him in the Iraqi gaol during GW1.

EQUIPMENT / LOGISTICS
Regardless of how pristine and mint-condition a piece of equipment "is supposed to be" upon delivery, you check it - and then doublecheck it once more!
It's a standard SOP that I've practised myself, but guys in the Regiment - and other units where they go into conflicts where live rounds are being discharged - live by this rule as if it was a spinal-reflex/second nature.
As I've come to understand it, the equipment and logistical cock-ups within the Regiment during GW1, was due to the hastefulness and heads-over-heels pace in which the SAS deplyed to the Gulf. It was a combination of this and serious lack of communication that the patrols didn't get their hands on sufficient equipment. A lot of times vital equipment that the RQSM claimed he didn't have, was located elsewhere within arms reach.

The US forces had everything the SAS needed (ammunition, weapon-systems etc. etc.), but due Brit vs. Yank rivalry / pigheadedness, the SAS never approached the Americans. (If they had gotten any if they -did- ask, is an open question).

Still, it's odd to read Sabre Squadron, where Cameron Spence tells us how they spent two days in the Iraqi burning off mountains of ammunition before they left. They burned off more ammo in those couple of days than any standard TA-unit in England would spend in a whole year.
Perhaps it was just particularly bad in B Squadron, as Spence was in A Squadron. *shrug*

>>By ortlieb   (Wednesday, 18 Feb 2004 20:31)



Glad you pointed out the bit about Cameron Spence et al, and it does seem to be common knowledge that a modicum of fannying around occurred in days prior to B20 kick-off...

A heli crew mentioned beer-swigging which they couldn't participate in due to imminent flights, but I was given to understand "army" units about to board those flights were well-gone...Bit like the last supper, I guess - risque all the same...

Mind you going in to Iraq on foot instead of tread I think I'd want to drown that thought beforehand...

>>By devonwren   (Wednesday, 18 Feb 2004 20:47)



> Mind you going in to Iraq on foot instead of tread I think I'd want to drown that thought beforehand...

I can't understand why McNab and the rest of the patrol were so hell-bent on not using a vehicle......

>>By ortlieb   (Wednesday, 18 Feb 2004 20:55)



Afraid of holing it in one down a wadi?

Or maybe they watched too many old black white (colour LoA) war films as kids, and visualised being stuck in a sand dune. It all comes down to basic knowledge in the end, geographical knowledge (childhood schooling).

Though it appears that kids of today are even worse off, only knowing a place if it's got a place name and their having followed large-lettered signposts to get to it. Give kids of today a map and they look at you as if you're mad.

>>By devonwren   (Thursday, 19 Feb 2004 10:56)



meant to say: first hubby recalled one time when he had a cpl walking ahead of a lanny on pitch black night in the desert to prevent loss of vehicles in wadis: they were sneaking behind enemy lines - no lights...

>>By devonwren   (Thursday, 19 Feb 2004 10:59)



This will land me in trouble....
Common sense for the cpl walking in front of the land rover, it doesn't need a lot of brains to work that out. Did the rush for getting ready for insertion wipe out some common sense? I can't believe none of them knew that the desert temperature plummets at night. I would have thought the british army had enough collective experience in desert warfare for someone to have pointed that out. Round and round, that post hasn't said anything new but then it's wasted five minutes of an already too long and boring day!

>>By Bethan   (Friday, 20 Feb 2004 15:01)



Here's a question (hey on a roll here).

As a devonwren inspiration from McNab board. Now we already know that the man trampled by elephant in tenth man down was a real event, and I'm pretty sure off the top of my head, the climbing death in Botswana crops up in one of the first two fictions. So, who spots some others? Who cares? I do, but I am bored........

>>By Bethan   (Friday, 20 Feb 2004 15:04)



It's only natural for people who've experienced exciting (scary lives) to draw on past experience of self and mates, just a bit of a b*gger if the mates don't get a hand-out from their fictitious placement based on their real-life action/mishap!

Based on above, who needs to know what other events happened in real life, at the same time the chances are all the action sequences happened in varying degrees and differing circumstances - CR &AM are too vain for it to be any other way in their books...

>>By devonwren   (Friday, 20 Feb 2004 16:11)



Who does need to know.

"When, in fact, the best approach is to allow the "intruders" to put forth points of comparable order i.e., where McNab has supposedly stolen other troopers stories and which books he has placed said stories in to...After all, this is supposedly a forum for discussing AM books..." (insert which ever name you wish, doesn't bother me)

Apologies to both boards, seems I completely misunderstood above sentence. No more book discussion on that topic then.... Like I said previously, unlikely!

>>By Bethan   (Friday, 20 Feb 2004 16:47)



As another who misunderstood (see above)...
What about the CR soundbyte (regarding Selection), in an interview last year, that also appeared in Greed...
OK...we're not talking stolen stories, but he was obviously so pleased with his (ghostwriters?) fictional words that he decided to make them into quotable quotes in real person interviews.

>>By bikergirl   (Saturday, 21 Feb 2004 17:17)



Bikergirl...
Please forgive my laziness today.... do you have the link to that interview?

>>By am-i-binned   (Saturday, 21 Feb 2004 21:00)



More B.A.B.E.S...not just for high days and holidays it seems...
This time we bring you...

SAS DESSERT

Voice Over Man "The SAS. Britain's elite fighting regiment. Tough, fearless and extremely fit. Each soldier is capable of surviving and fighting in the wilderness. But how do they cope here? Are they tough enough? We're deep in the urban jungle of Suburbia, at Mama's Place...
<turns to the men sitting beside him>
Welcome lads. You're here because you're the best. Some of the most famous soldiers Britain has ever produced."

<The lads all wave, their faces hidden behind a cloud of fuzz apart from one>

VOM "Introduce yourselves please...."

CR "Hi. I'm Chris Ryan, the one that got away, and I'm here to show these noncey lasses just what a real man can do!"
AM "I'm Andy. He's potty. There's no way he'll beat me"
Mac "I'm Mac. The first one on the.... Well never mind, but I'm tougher than those two"
ES "I'm Staff Sergeant Eddie Stone and you're here because you think You're Tough Enough for the SAS..."

VOM <whispering> "Wrong show Eddie! They've been there, done that. This is dessert not desert!"

ES "Thank you. My reasonable intelligence missed that point. Well, I'm still Staff Sergeant Eddie Stone and I am tougher than they are" <wobbles his head slightly>

VOM "So there they are. Your contestants for this evening. The challenge? This...The Cam Cream Challenge. You lads have a tub of cam cream each and a variety of edible ingredients with which to construct a veritable delight of a pudding for the delectation of our judges, Beth and bikergirl. On your marks, get set..... GO"

Nobody moves.

VOM <sighs> "Stand by, stand by...... GO"

The lads scramble around grabbing flour, sugar and...ummmm...stuff (c'mon...the B.A.B.E.S are no chefs...). Eddie takes the opportunity to lob a few eggs at his opponents.
AM "FFS man! That's valuable equipment you're wasting"
CR "Mind the hair. Mind the hair" <patting his coiffure>
Mac has disappeared already...

Beth and bikergirl wait around idly for their heroes to return. They think about making a brew, but then decide a swift one in the pub oppposite isn't too out of order. Upon their return, the Regimental heroes are waiting patiently for the considered opinion of the creations they have ...ummm...created.

VOM "OK, first up we have Eddie"
B "Go Eddie..... Go Eddie..... Go Eddie"
CR "You traitor! You're supposed to be one of my girls, and there you are cheering him on"
B "Me Mam always told me to make sure I support a winner. Besides he's within arms reach, you're not"
VOM "Eddie, what have you made?"
ES "Scones with clotted cam cream..."
bg "But that's a speciality of the South-West surely? Nil points (in Eurovision style). You should have been a little more patriotic."

VOM "Moving along, we have Andy. What have you made mate?"
AM "Outrageous! I'm not your mate, mate. But anyway...I call this Victoria sponge with jam and cam"
B "Yes!! Extra points for the rhyming slang" <clapping>
CR starts looking sulky again...
AM "It's not"
B "Not what"
AM "Rhyming slang"
bg "But 'not what' rhymes...bonus points to Beth!"
VOM "She's not a contestant..."

The Director starts urging them to move on...

VOM "OK. Next up we have Chris..."
B "Go Chris..... Go Chris...... Go Chris....."
CR "They always come back to me!!" <flashing perfectly veneered smiles at all the cameras> "What else would I have for my girls, but exotic passionfruits with cam cream coulis" <winks at Beth and bikergirl>
bg "Very desirable"
CR "I just can't help myself"
B "But we can" <winks at CR> " A perfect 6 for you!"
CR "6 is only average. I'm not!" <looking down proudly>
Beth and bikergirl scramble for the tape measure...
VOM "Ahem. We can't reveal the actual score that has been awarded here."
B & bg "10 out of 10" <both grinning>

The Director again urges them to move on swiftly...

VOM "Finally. Last, but not least. We have Mac."
Mac beckons everyone over to a hole he's dug. In the centre is a small fairy cake.
Mac "This is a very special cam cream iced birthday cake"
B "Whose birthday is it Mac?"
Mac "Dunno. Just let me add the finishing touches..."
Mac adds a rather overlong candle to the top of the cake.
Mac "Stand back everyone...let's light the candle"
VOM "He's a demolitions expert isn't he?"
bg "Oh sh!t...run fer yer lives everyone...."

The smoke clears to reveal a 30m diameter crater...
VOM (with blackened face...) "The judges have awarded equal top marks to Mac for his effort."

Well...what did you expect? There's nothing the B.A.B.E.S like better than a big bang...

>>By B.A.B.E.S   (Tuesday, 24 Feb 2004 15:12)



Y'know it's Shrove Tuesday.
Dessert should surely have included tossing...

>>By bikergirl   (Tuesday, 24 Feb 2004 18:06)



YEEEEAAAAAAH BABES are back in town!!!!!!!!!!
At last!!

Anyway BULLIES are on a years hard training schedule.
6 months on the Arctic, learning how to make a good snowman, and then 6 months in Hawaii, checking out the surfer-boys, Alloha!!
Well the BULLIES have always liked nothing better than a big splash.

>>By borisette   (Tuesday, 24 Feb 2004 18:13)



<<Applause>>

Well done B.A.B.E.S. That'll keep the anti McNab brigade on side...

>>By devonwren   (Wednesday, 25 Feb 2004 13:48)



Anti-McNab on side? Who's she? A long-lost relative of the man himself? Chris Ryan undercover? Seriously, like there's anyone of significant importance reading this board to be in any way bothered by the pro-/anti- lobbies. There's life outside of the gnooks environment. Well, let's hope there is, or we'll all end up toeing the party line of those who suggest possession of superior intellect.

The boundaries of defence of the realm of SF authors seem vague on account of continual indulgence in the greener grass which, miraculously, flourishes on alternate sides of the fence with alarming regularity. What does grass grow in Texas? Bullsh*t!

Ah, bollox!! Perhaps BABES are narcissistic enough to not be able to read past <<Applause>>. Can the vanity survive without constant affirmation of adoration?

>>By B.A.B.E.S   (Wednesday, 25 Feb 2004 16:48)



<<Applause>>

The hollow sound of empty theatre!

Add a rose and sweet repose, a touch of Romeo and Juliet - the proof is in the digging, the resultant bloom the draw of admiration..A scythe of scorn is like if parody pertain to ghostlike writers!

>>By devonwren   (Wednesday, 25 Feb 2004 20:27)



Speak for yourselves BABES. [Seriously, like there's anyone of significant importance reading this board to be in any way bothered by the pro-/anti- lobbies. ]

You're a class act in crass statements.

The audience would have booed and hissed after the first act, but you can't do that and yawn at the same time.

>>By readit   (Wednesday, 25 Feb 2004 21:38)



For all parties concerned:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

--- Dr. Suess

>>By Lynn   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 00:43)



Hope your Dr Suess is right, Lynn:

This is for the boys out there who are fed up with being the butt of female jokes...

Sing to tune of Two Little Boys.

Two little girls had two little toys
And Each had an SAS badge
Gaily they played on a summer's day
Warriors not at all.

One little girl, had a mishap
Broke off her Action Man head
She Wept for her toy and cried out loud
Then, heard her little friend say:

Do you think I could leave you cry . . .ing
When I got one spare on the side
Here dear Beth, do stop your cry . . . ing
And we'll mend your Action Man with glue,
Yes, we'll mend your Action Man with glue.
<Sigh>
When we grow up we'll be soldier girls
And our Action Men won't be toys
And maybe you will remember,
When we were two little girls
<Sigh>
Long years had passed, war came at last
And the Action Girls marched away
Missiles zoomed, and midst everything
One Action Girl lay gasping for breath.
And up came a cry of I'm com . . .ing
In utter despera . . .tion
Bikergirl leapt to her aid
She ran and ran to where Action Girl lay
And Beth heard her faithful friend say

Do you think I could leave you gasp . . .ing
When there's room on my bike for two
Climb aboard and I'll ta . . .ke you,
Well clear of those Action Men
<kiss>
Can't you see I'm all a-trem . . .ble
And what was that big flash -bang?
Several of those Action Men, dear Beth,
The ones you said you would handle

Dear God I think I reme . . .mber
Oh no, it can't be true
It didn't feel like that at all
When we were two little girls

Oh what, said Bikerg . . .irl
Is a real-life AM better?
Oh no, oh no, oh no replied Beth,
Our little toys are much better.
<smile>

>>By devonwren   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 02:00)



Forgive me, CR; it must be all that singing... ;o)

"We tried to educate Stan in the finer points of punk music. It took us three days to remember all the words of the Jam song 'Down in the Tube Station at Midnight', and then we tried to teach it to him. He soon gave up. 'I don't understand all this British shit,' he complained. 'Don't you guys know any Rolf Harris?' "

>>By am-i-binned   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 03:22)



You gotta be ding-bat drunk, stand on one leg, hold a flag pole aloft, to sing Rolf Harris with any meaning.

>>By devonwren   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 10:07)



You know my favourite Action Man is the one who wears the Arctic gear...
Or is it the one with the wet suit and flippers...
Or the one in desert fatigues...
Or with the parachute...

Blimey...how could I survive so many different varieties without succumbing to a stupefied swoon at the hint of a man in uniform? Presumably about as believable with toys as it is probable on here...
Sight of the lads in dress uniform...now that's a different matter...do they do THAT Action Man yet? Don't worry...reality will prevail.

So, reciprocal <<Applause>>. From me. Not just those FUB's that saved the theatre from the brink of bankruptcy.
I can see we'll be singing that one well into our dotage. Assuming we can still laugh at ourselves (false teeth and incontinence allowing...).

>>By bikergirl   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 10:55)



a-i-b...
Sorry, no link to the interview, but here's what I was on about...

CR in an interview with David Jones (Oct '03)...
"The men who serve in The Regiment might look physically different, but we are nearly all clones. There's something about the selection process that picks us out. We're morally flexible and we're all psychologically impaired. And there you have your perfect soldier."

And in Greed...
"...
'Our assessment is that you're psychologically impaired,' Perky continued. 'Maybe that's why you never got the promotions you wanted in the Regiment.'
[...]
'As we were saying [...] lacks respect for authority. No direction in life. No moral compass. Lacks socialisation.'
'Right,' said Matt, grinning. 'I thought moral flexibility was what Five was looking for these days.'
..."

He was interviewed prior to 'Hunting...'. Some nice pictures...the one that I gave the link to here, one in Siberia and one with Sarah. I'll try to copy them and send them to them as is interested.

>>By bikergirl   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 11:56)



You're all far to talented for me and take yourselves far too seriously. Lighten up and laugh forchrissake.

I loved it all and laughed heartily.

Does Selection involve removal of one's sense of humour - not from what I've read.

It's not taking the piss really. It's light hearted - that's how I interpret it and the parody does no harm at all. Stops heads getting over inflated.

>>By Nomad   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 18:37)



Hi Y'all

I agree with Nomad.... I laughed out loud reading the SAS Dessert skit.

This is the kinda stuff that made me join the GNOD boards to begin with! Lots of fun and funny characters.

Wish I could write like y'all!

>>By Majorette   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 18:58)



I've re-posted taking out the pee-word! So my karma doesn't get chopped again.... So it was earlier in the page....

devonwren

That's perfect. Well done at last you've got the idea, a little laughter is much better than the usual argumentative stuff posted on both boards.

>>By Bethan   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 19:23)



Wow, Bethan...Blimey, that's a come down from previous poof'd item... Happen the poofing wasn't so much to do with the P word as its intended recipients...I guess its a breach of guidelines to ridicule authors on their own forums...

Humour makes the world go round, and so much more fun when kept inhouse -directed at ourselves - as F-Troop fun and games were, at one time...

Quite ironic really, Lynn turned up some earlier stuff and it had a whole different edge than the more recent "let's knock McNab/Ryan, and the SAS/SBS."

There are people who were on this board that quite liked having the "real thing" drop by from time to time, but even readit has had his fill...Read his profile page...He felt he had nothing to contribute to people such as yourself who doesn't think much of AM books, and your stints here exactly as Rose wished for...He was wondering which camp you're really onside with, inclusive bikergirl...

>>By devonwren   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 19:40)



I love B.A.B.E.S

>>By TabariGoddess   (Thursday, 26 Feb 2004 21:36)



Wow, Bethan...Blimey, that's a come down from previous poof'd item...
Yeah apparently you can't say p**s taking in your post, but why only mine was deleted and not every other post with p**s taking in it beats me. Guess somebody somewhere only wanted mine off.

>>By Bethan   (Friday, 27 Feb 2004 10:13)



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