Andy Mcnab
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>>By christina (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 11:50)
Deadline extention, so be it.
Pinned to aircrew notice board.
Hey Chaps
It's a known fact that ex Sgt Christine Pelham, Logistics Corp, Luscious Lips Pelham, carries her gold-plated ballpoint in a peculiar manner. She often proves, to the delight of invited personnel, her knack for playing hands-free 0s and Xs...
Get a load of this. Luscious Lips Pelham's party tricks have always stirred ex SAS RSM Bentall's obsessional mechanic minded psyche, nickname Motor-Mouth his badge of merit. So, one day, head to motor, copious lubrication to tongue, Bentall thoroughly greased-up Pelham's ballpoint nibs, and...
Shockingly caught in the night sleepover den by ex SAS Sgt Nick Stone, headaches their earlier excuse for non participation in outdoor target practice, to their utter amazement, Nick Stone's stunned expression said it all....
On seeing ex Sgt Christine Pelham's sticky fingers as incriminating evidence of well-fit to eat a hotdog, not to mention flushed face, our Nick Stone duly seized the moment and set upon Pelham for lack of loyalty. Pelham's heart leapt, while ex RSM Bentall's lurched with impacted fear.
Ex RSM Bentall's sticky fingers were serious evidence of his using Nick's mobile BBQ, and he was screaming at Sgt Pelham about his gold signet ring had slid off in the heat of cooking up his meaty meal. Nick immediately investigated around the BBQ, and yelled. "I've found it."
"Stand clear," said Sgt Pelham, a big grin.
Both Nick Stone and Bentall did as bid.
Stone then rallied to Pelham's nifty action, as the ring shot out at high velocity and landed three beds distance. "Nice one, Pel"
"So how about a prize, then?'...
"What me," said Nick, thinking RSM Bentall had burnt his fingers.
"No, you're paper thin. Go get the CO."
>>By chinhelo (Chinook Helicopter Aircrew) (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 11:59)
You’re a baaad man, chinhelo! And here’s me trying to bin the swear words for the kids that post here…… About what you’ve written – adroit, my kind of humour, ‘nough said?
>>By Mhorag (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 13:32)
Alas I can not take the credit for above memo. It winged in from guess who? Marked, Not to be posted in the Sgt's Mess!!!!
>>By chinhelo (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 13:59)
Full marks to the man, then! And to you for the post, much appreciated.
>>By Mhorag (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 14:40)
Heh - enjoyed that.
Now would someone feed me please?
>>By Caroline (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 19:06)
ok then caroline! damn my head hurts
>>By christina (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 19:24)
McNab is a disgrace to the Regiment. He should hang his head in shame. He can't write books either.
>>By Yomper (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 20:30)
excuse me you can have your opinions but dont go sharing them thankyou some people dont want to hear them byebye
>>By christina (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 20:41)
Hey Yomper, what's up buddy, stay cool. Nobody's perfect, and I'm sure Mcnab isn't either.
Chinhelo, nice one, had to read it a couple of times though to understand, I'm a bit hard you know, and I mean english isn't my first language, don't know really wich one is.but explain me what does paper thin and CO mean.
>>By boris (Sunday, 22 Jun 2003 22:13)
Nick Stone character on paper in McNab books so paper thin. The CO McNab himself and naturally the Comanding Officer of his own troop of characters. Clever twist at the end.
Off to Split so won't be around for a while.
take care
>>By chinhelo (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 01:03)
Parting comment
Boris a buddy is a good mate. Yomper's an asshole.
>>By chinhelo (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 01:09)
Language, language Chinhelo !!
Yomper, I'm sure there are people who agree with you -
only you won't find them here I'm afraid..
So Buddy, have we got a winner yet?
I'd say we all are. Let's share price..
>>By Lynn (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 10:23)
Wait! I havent done mine yet - but I was thinking about it though so standby for transmission. erm. cchhhh..over...ccchhhhh.
Hey Yomper - aw bless. It's a fair comment though because I have to admit - after Remote Control, I felt the rest of the books were a little sub-standard, but I HAD to have them, I had to have them all in my possession, and still do - even though - I mean Last Light was rubbish, but still I had to read it twice. (just to make sure) and when I go back up tae Aberdeen, I am going to treat myself to Liberation Day for the journey - though I expect it to be a little lacking in something.
>>By Caroline (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 10:59)
Sorry Caroline, I thought my remark of a winner would rush the ones who haven't entered the competition yet... ;-)
Must say, what you've written to Yomper: It sounds like you developed some sort of addiction - don't want to but have to..
You're absolutely in the wrong place here for an addiction cure... but you probably have to but don't want to...
If I'm rambling here.. it's because of my own addiction ;-)
>>By Lynn (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 12:04)
Hey Chinhelo I was just trying to be nice.
Have a nice trip.
Caroline, can't wait to read your description.
So go on with it.
Just bought B20 and TOWGA, just to know the differences, and see wich one convinces me more, migh have to buy the NZ one next.
Who read both of them, and what do you think of them.
Hey AIB where are you, you've kinda disappeared, so has Buddy, hmmmm two of you are have a gathering of some kind or what. I want to come too.
>>By boris (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 12:10)
We've done a lot a discussion McNab vs Ryan.
To me personally, McNab is favorite (reason why I am posting on this board). TOTGA was (is) rather negative about the other team members, including Andy.
Andy has been accused for being negative too, especially concerning Vince but I must be a weird reader ' cause I didn't find him negative at all. In fact I think he's being rather careful towards other members and even the Army.
Someone posted a while ago that the latest prints of TOTGA have some sort of excuse as prologue. I've read the other Ryan books too (except for the latest) and I like them but I love Andy's books. To me a matter of style, details and the ' person' Nick Stone (or Andy in the non-fiction books).
>>By Lynn (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 14:05)
so who is the charahcter in chris ryans books then or am i being stupid cause i dont know?
>>By christina (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 17:31)
Oooh! Missed you all! So many more postings -- so nice to catch up on everything! (I've been suffering severe internet withdrawal symptoms -- cable service/modem problems big time since Friday!)
I couldn't think of anything that exactly fits the criteria of Buddy's challenge (I'm not that creative), but hopefully this will be okay instead....
RANDOM INTERVIEWS (Part One)
MEETING NICK STONE
Oh, yes, I met him all right! Who could forget his parfum de toilette?
Well, he did have a very nice British accent when he checked in, but he seemed kinda anxious, kept looking outside toward the stair, gave this story about having been robbed or something. When I saw him later, his hair was sticking up like a scarecrow’s, and he had these strange pressure marks on his cheek, like he’d been sleeping on crayons or something….
Yes, definitely a very good customer. Knew exactly what he wanted to rent and paid cash upfront! Strange, though, he seemed to be preoccupied with very large appliances, particularly full-sized freezers….
Nick Stone? Oh my, yes, I do remember him! Do I ever? We met at a gay bar in Sydney where I bartend. Funny us both having the same first name and being from London and all, don't you think? Small world, hey? And, ooooh, did he ever get my boyfriend, Brian, pissed off or what, sniffing around, chatting me up and all! I do wonder what happened to him…. had the most incredibly blue eyes, I must say…
Listen, man, I don’t know his name and I don’t care! All I know is that he looked scary as s**t with those bit marks on his face! And when he stuck that gun right in the side of my face, pressing it into my cheek, telling me he was gonna kill me… I, uh, I… well, anyway, I made my friend and those two girls we’d picked up chip in to pay to pay for my dad’s car seats to be cleaned cuz I’m telling you, I wasn’t the only one who lost it!
Who? You mean that nice looking guy who came in here with Pat’s daughter? Yeah, he was cute, really polite, and had the neatest accent, kinda like Pat’s. It was really funny, too, cuz he was sitting here waiting for Sherry, trying to be all casual, you know, but geez!--he was all eyes! Really nice eyes, too! Really intense, you know, that really icy blue. And Pat’s little girl was so sweet, we were having a great time playing dressing up. But, oh brother, was Sherry ever pissed off….
Yes, I know who you mean. No, I don’t see him any more. Why? Because he was always disappearing for weeks at a time, giving me outrageous explanations for everything, like where he’d been, why he had a bullet hole in his abdomen and dog bite marks on his arm, and god only knows what ever happened to his ear! I just gave up… I think all I was really good for was picking up his mail, so I ended it…
Nick Stone? Yeah, I know the guy you mean – good guy but sorta nervous underneath, never could quite figure out why. I think he had some trouble dealing with my scars, but since the plastic surgery, they’re not as bad as they were. Anyway, who knows with the Brits. Good man, just the same. That pompous ass Lynn assigned him to me for about a month while my NSA team was in the UK trying to stop the damned ROC infiltration into Menwith…
Mr. Stone. Yes, strange man! Very impulsive! Paid cash straight out for this little 1930’s three-bedroom, detached just off the beach in Norfolk. Well now, to tell the truth, it did need a bit of work, but he started renovating and just stopped! Everything’s all torn out, he has this huge tarp over a hole in the roof, and now he wants me to sell it…
Yeah, man, we remember the dude. Saw him sitting in that sorry-assed excuse for a Mazda pickup while this old rabiblanco driving was trying to pull out in traffic. He looked like s**t, and wearing a sweatshirt in this heat. An he was wearing a pair of the stupidest sunglasses – the kind Jackie-O would wear…
Yes, I do know this man Nick Stone. He is very good at what he does. I consider myself fortunate he did not have better people with him in Finland. I made him an offer, however, his obligations hold him back from coming to St. Petersburg. Pity really. He and Ignati have much in common….
Oh, the poor darling, yes. Broke my heart to see him so. Always had that haunted sad look. Family problems -- divorce, I think. Always calling his little girl on the phone. Didn’t have anything really. I let him sneak in to use the shower upstairs, and I’d see him queuing up down by the Hari Krishna van to eat. So sad really. Well, you see a lot of that with the men who stay here. But I would always tell him, "Don’t worry, darling, worrying too much affects your mind – things’ll work you, you’ll see."
To be continued….
>>By am-i-binned (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 17:48)
Darn typos! So excited to be back online I didn't proof before posting! Sorry! Oh well, you get the gist...
>>By am-i-binned (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 18:19)
hi AIB glad your back what do yu mean you are not that creative hello do you read what you write it is great!
argh help me interview and an exam tommorow any interview tips people answer ASAP
>>By christina (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 18:49)
Fanx, Christina... :o)
>>By am-i-binned (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 21:18)
What a bunch of sad people you lot really are Fawning over these two SAS failures. If you are not carefull I might just give out there real names.
>>By Yomper (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 21:56)
Then why are you here, Yomper?
>>By am-i-binned (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 21:57)
AIB: nice one the interviews, and yes you do have "fantasia" (what's wrong with me tonight, can't get the english words out). Glad your back too.
Christina: good luck with your exams tomorrow, hope they will be the last ones too.
Lynn: thanks for the info, I'll tell you when I get the books what I think about them. I bought them in the english version, nothing beats english humour, you can't translate it in any language, even though these books aren't comedy books at all.
Yomper: maybe your jealous or what, what's your problem? Now don't tell me you're that Barschak person. I can tell you we're not fawning at all over these 2 men, you call failures. What's so great about you then hey, what did you achieve up 'till now in your life??
Let's hear it. We're all ears.
>>By boris (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 22:28)
hi thanx boris they are yeah
>>By christina (Monday, 23 Jun 2003 22:36)
Hmm, Yomper. Maybe you're right and AM is a disgrace - maybe - but he can't write? Last I heard he had sold a total of 500,000 fiction books in the UK alone (not to mention the 3 million+ copies of B20 and IA)
I'm here purely to speak of his writing credablity, and anyone who sells almost 3.5 million books (possibly more) is all right by me!
Like I say, disgrace maybe - we all have an opinion - but can't write? Sort yourself out.
>>By Sheba (Tuesday, 24 Jun 2003 00:54)
Yomper, if what you're saying implies that you fall under the category Crown servant, then admitting that you are going to disclose potentially damaging information, knowing the damage that the disclosure might cause, precludes any kind of defence under the OSA. Specifically, if it "leads to loss of life or injury to members of those forces". Get out your own copy, if you've got one. That usually includes ex-members if their work has been considered to be relevant to national security.
And you are mailing this list just because you don't like AM and CR and / or what gets posted here? Maybe you should just think before you act? And then think about the trail you're leaving across the net and those nice super-computers that process all the net traffic. Trust me, tracking someone is easy, no matter how much they've tried to hide the traces.
My own personal opinion is, if you want to have a rational discussion, be the dissenting voice, fine. If not, then you don't belong here.
>>By H (Tuesday, 24 Jun 2003 00:59)
Hi H. You spoke nice. Want to share more with us? Please
do, we're always enjoying new posters/visions.
I'm gonna stick to Shrek (can you tell I'm a fan.?) and ask
Yomper if he has to compensate for something. At least that
was my plan but then I thought actually we're giving Y. too much credit responding to his post. Oops now I did it andyway...
Ah well, I would apologise - if I meant it.
Great posting AIB, the interviews... Maybe in your ' continue' you can ask if they know the nephew's too ;-)
Take care all,
>>By Lynn (Tuesday, 24 Jun 2003 09:44)
Boris, SOS received loud and clear...
On the fun-time "letter/memo" front I can't judge my own offerings, and can only hope all who posted have stirred, still stirring others imaginations!! Go for it, let the words flow, let your imagination fly free... It's great fun to indulge in mutual pleasures of writing literary trivia with friends...
Yee Gods Yomper, where you bin' yomping lately, Everest? Providing one doesn't overdo it on the high altitude stomps, brain-cell damage is minimal. Keep treading high plains the likes of Afghanistan and that's when serious long-term damage sets in, more especially for those not attuned to mountain goat silly-billy syndrome...
We give you the arena, Yomper, your case in point: You say McNab & Ryan are c**p writers. I challenge you tell us what quantifies a good writer - who you see as literary superior in the fold of SAS writers.
You've thrown the gauntlet, it's been picked up, now show us how the pen can be mightier than the sword! Personally, I like McNab's wit/boyish charm, and steel will power as embodied through Nick Stone. I like Ryan's hard-line character, Slater, and Ryan doesn't always write his books from first-person perspective. I like Johnny (TC) Howard books, again third-person perspective, (narrator) and descriptive, very descriptive.
H: tracking net traffic, sounds impressive, but there are ways and means of thwarting detection of who posts what on freebie page servers... Take a look at the present asylum system in the UK, several people utilising same passport (copies/forgeries) plus education/qualifications utilised by multiple persons, inclusive nurses (many unqualified) working in different parts of the country off one registered UKCC number...Nothing is full-proof, least of all technology, (hackable) and many public points to Internet access.
>>By buddy (Tuesday, 24 Jun 2003 10:10)
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