Andy Mcnab
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Even now i've a thirty three ½ teeth smile printed on my face.
:D
>>By Deusrexmachina (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 01:38)
Typo: 'brushing' my teeth. Translated literally 'washing' from Italian.
:Þ
>>By Deusrexmachina (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 01:42)
I like how you make that emoticon, Rex. The tongue sticking out thing. :)
And yeah, what ortlieb said about the jumping. ;) They were probably doing static lines or what's commonly referred to as a "hop and pop" where you jump, count to 3 and pull the cord. I'm sure there's a more macho military term for it, but that's what we called it since I did my skydiving as a civvie. :) Actually, in militarese, I think it's called a LALO, low altitude- low opening.
>>By Dare (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 02:06)
must apologise for the delay in further b.a.b.e.s instalments...
my fault...broke some nails at the w/e
am getting the hang of one-handed typing tho'...
normal services will be resumed asap
>>By bikergirl (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 11:01)
"normal services will be resumed asap"
David O'Hara in Prime Suspect. !!! What did I win ??!??!?!
Hahaha, sorry wrong message board.. :o(
>>By Lynn (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 11:20)
Re L.A.L.O:
Low Altitude Landing Ordnance = S.L.J. Static Line Jump, meaning auto ripcord action, A.R.A.
H.A.L.O: High Altitude Low Open (military "assault" freefall)
H.A.H.O: High Altitude High Opening.
The reason I know this, has nothing to do with reading books aka Charles Bruce "Freefall" etc, (which I haven't) the above was commonly used by my first husband (a Para/SAS).
Memory jog: When the SAS once again became an independet unit (no longer wearing the red beret inclusive Pegasus symbol) they re-donned the sand beret/Excaliber symbol, some men for a short while were torn between loyalty to the Parachute Regiment and the newly founded SAS More often than not, though, the red beret or other regimental beret' were and have been donned during conflicts/routine patrols in NI (Northern Ireland), and same tactic often applied in other conflicts such as Gulf War etc.
Hope that helps...
Get a spin factor on L.A.L.O and your dead meat...
>>By buddy (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 11:28)
Lynn, cute and muse...Thanks...
>>By buddy (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 11:36)
Welcome..
>>By Lynn (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 11:47)
I think we should all offer bikergirl a HAND since she's now only got the use of one (sorry did promise to stop that, couldn't resist, I'll go to naughty corner now....)
>>By Bethan (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 12:17)
You know what they say Bethan.. if you offer them ONE hand...
Oh no, that would be finger...
Or is this just a Dutch expression..?? :o)
>>By Lynn (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 12:22)
Fanx everyone,... no paras today. They were flying yesterday the whole day and the funny thing is that someone has put a sort of van where they land so afterwards they can buy hot drinks or pizza, if it was in the UK it'd been a fish-and-chips thingy.
Anyway maybe I'll see some action this afternoon as I'll be visiting some patients at a doctors office which is right in front of a police station. So who knows I'll get some Starsky and Hutch to see. LOL
>>By borisette (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 12:27)
Just casually mingle yelling you're a medic.. that might get you some info :o) Or your butt kicked.
>>By Lynn (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 12:47)
mustn't forget the white overall. More impressive.
And better wear some stuffed underpants incase the buttkicking arrives............hey and could try a helmet too.
>>By borisette (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 12:57)
naaaaah better remain as a greygirl.
>>By borisette (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 12:59)
LOL!
>>By am-i-binned (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 13:02)
just bumped into this AM interview of last year :
www.worldbookdayfestival.com/authorprofiles/
authors/andymcnab.html
>>By borisette (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 13:02)
and for those who didn't understand the dutch interview , seems he had another death threat about 14 months ago.
It wasn't any of us now was it...???
Oooops I'm off to the naughty corner too,
.... Hey Bethan make room for me. Shove off.
>>By borisette (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 13:06)
Quite a worn out bench in that room, right ??! :o)
>>By Lynn (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 13:11)
Oi Borisette don't be such a bully, I was here first. Quit shoving I've moved up. Everybody else had better behave there's no room now with the extra-butt padding you've got ha ha.
>>By Bethan (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 14:12)
Bench? Bit a tacking on and, a few embedded nails and securing rings and it'll make for an excellent rope-pull-rack...Get any ideas after reading this post and I'd better warn you I got a high-pain threshold under torture...
"Young Blood" written in conjunction with children's scriptwriter Robert Rigby, does anyone know of other works by Robert Rigby other than Byker Grove, and thinking of scripts, anyone heard from DF lately?
Back to books of great interest, has anyone lit upon "Reputations under Fire" by David Hooper aka David Biddle (Sol/Law), a specialist in libel and media law who represented AM.
A rollicking good read...
>>By buddy (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 14:26)
B & B, be careful not to trip over somes bones there ok..
>>By Lynn (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 15:46)
Has anyone read the SBS of Duncan Falconer??
Is it any good?? 'cause I've just ordered it.
Buddy : don't know and haven't read any of the books you mentioned.
Didn't see Starsky nor Hutch at the police station.
Only 4 nuns trying to get in,..... I wonder why??
Well what I mean is , they were there running around the building when I arrived and when I'd finished and came out of the office I saw them entering the backdoor..... that was strange.(and I was in the office for 1hour 1/2)
>>By borisette (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 18:14)
Now you know who that were.. don't you Borisette.
One other thing? Who told you to leave punishment room?
>>By Lynn (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 18:58)
Doin' hard time with Bethan, eh, Borisette?
Warden's a tough one, I can tell you!
(shhh, don't tell I said that or it'll be three on that bench (threesome?) -- hey, just like the old days! -- oooh, remember, Scouse? huh? whaddaya mean "blocking it out"?!? humphf!) ;o)
To pass the time (when not elbowing Bethan or rearranging strategic padding), see if you can spot Swedish Reader's questions in the World Book Day Festival chat. Yepper, F Troop was well represented in that chat, too!
>>By am-i-binned (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 19:56)
WAs is Bethan and Bikergirl?????
Or Orty and Tridy????
Or maybe Buddy and AIB???
Find out in the next episode of BABES and the NUNS
>>By borisette (Wednesday, 26 Nov 2003 22:05)
FanTansWorld Production of Dick Wittingdon and his Cat.
For those who are not familiar with British Pantomime, firstly the leading boy is usually played by a long-legged girl with mellow soprano voice, and the lead girl is played by a very feminine petite little sweety. Where possible men dress up as women, and pantomime animals can be either sex (or both in the case of pantomime horse) - hence mighty confused kids in the audience...
Dick Wittington...SCENE ONE...Who is Really Who?
A street market scene at the DOCKSIDE in old London Town. Stalls, street vendors crying their wares. Two rats enter and steal items from a stall. They are unsuccessfully shooed away by the stall holder.
Enter a Cat (pusskins) who sums up the situation at a glance and chases away the rats. PUSSKINS (undercover cat) is rewarded by the stall holder with a large fish bone.
A beautiful girl then befriends the cat and strokes him. (PUSS purrs, loudly) This girl is none other than Alice Fitzwarren (aka Lynn).
SONG: WHO WILL BUY?
During the song Dick Whit (aka AIB) wanders onto the stage in search of Cat. He is smitten by Alice's beauty, and joins in the song.
Vendors return to their stalls. Alice remains stroking the cat.
DICK (aka AIB): Pusskins! (cat smooches up to Dick's thigh-length boots) I've been looking for you everywhere! So this is London, eh? Where all the streets are paved with gold!
The cat then scurries under a stall and emerges with a string of T watches which he hands to Dick
DICK: What's this? Oh I see! (nod nod, vbw... vbg!) Very good Puss. (He turns to Alice) I'm sorry about Pusskins. She's, er he's really quite clever. In fact the other day he reckoned he could actually talk!
ALICE (aka Lynn): Talk? I've never heard of a cat that could talk!
DICK (aka AIB): Say something to the lady, Pusskins.
PUSSKINS (aka undercover cat) SHAKES HEAD
DICK (aka AIB): Oh, c'mon now Tiddles. You can do it! Go on!
CAT SHAKES HEAD VIOLENTLY
DICK (aka AIB): Tiddles! You know how to talk don't you!
PUSSKINS (aka undercover cat): Me...how?
DICK (aka AIB): (Beaming proudly) There! I told you!
CAT PUFFS OUT CHEST AND BLOWS ON NAILS AND RUBS CHEST.
ALICE (aka Lynn): Well, you are a clever cat ! (She holds out her hand) My name is Alice Fitzwarren. Won't you introduce me to your friend ?
DICK (aka AIB - scowls, dares cat to open gob): Oh, I am sorry, my name is Dick Whittington. Tiddles and I have come to London to seek our fortune.
CAT TURNS TO AUDIENCE AND SNIGGERING, WHISPERS: You wish!
ALICE: Perhaps I can help you both. You see, my daddy is Alderman Fitzwarren. He's a very rich man and I'm sure he'd be happy to offer a job to two of my friends !
DICK: Oh, that's wonderful!
CAT WINKS AT AUDIENCE, WHISPERS AGAIN: A threesome, hee, hee.
ALICE: That he'll offer you a job?
DICK: No! That you would think of me as a friend! (He sighs)
PUSSKINS: (Rubbing against Alice & Dick) Meowwws! WINKS AT AUDIENCE AND POINTS TAIL SKYWARD!
ALICE: Oh .... and you too PUSS! I couldn't possibly forget you!
MEANTIME CAT 'S TAIL TREMBLES...
Enter Alderman Fitzwarren
FITZWARREN (aka local big wigged publisher): Alice! Alice! Where is that girl?
ALICE: Here I am Daddy!
FITZWARREN: Alice! I've been looking for you everywhere! There's inefficiency in the House! I mean, there's mayhem in the merchandising!
ALICE: Speak English Daddy!
FITZWARREN: The house is up the chute!
ALICE: Oh! But I thought your assistant was in charge?
FITZWARREN: She's exited with the emoluments! I mean, she's skedaddled with the spondulicks!
ALICE: Daddy!
FITZWARREN: Oh! er! She's made off with the money! What am I going to do? I can't leave the organization without operatives! I mean, I can't leave the forum without factotums!
ALICE: Dad!
FITZWARREN: Ah! I mean, I can't leave the store without servants! And not only that, but we're riddled with rodents, I mean, the vicissitudes we've got with vermin!
DICK: Oh, you mean ....
FITZWARREN: Exactly, we're rotten with rats!
ALICE: But Daddy, I think I've got the answer to both your problems!
ALICE POINTS A DELICATE FINGER AT TIDDLES, THEN AT DICK WHIT.
TIDDLES STANDS PROUD.
FITZWARREN LOOKS AT CAT: You mean you have the resolution of the infestation, AND the administration of the organization, er ......... he'll do it all?
ALICE: Well, Tiddles and HIM!
DICK: What me? Er, um...
PUSSKINS: (Looking bemused) Me ... how?
DICK SHOVES CAT FORWARD: He's your cat!
FITZWARREN: There's not a second to squander, I mean, not a minute to misappropriate, er ... let's get on with it! Follow me my boy! The cat can find its own way!
PUSSKINS: Me .... how?
EXIT ALL
-------------------
ENTER ARFUR (THE RAT) AND HIS MINDER, TAIL, TO 'MINDER' MUSIC
ARFUR (aka ex SAS seargent major): Right, Tail my son, you bein' new to the job, it's my duty to fill you in on bein' on the firm here in Old London Town. I'm an honest trader I am. When I do business with yer punter he gets me hand and me heart. Mind you he'd rather have a receipt and a guarantee, but yer can't have everything now can you? The commercial world is based on trust, my son. If you eat the lunch yer pay the bill. This is the trust between employer and employee.
'Ere, Tail, my son, that reminds me, That special relationship between employer and employed means I'm in a position to put sumfink good in your direction, if you know what I mean.
TAIL (aka ex SAS corp): Wot, Arfur?
ARFUR: (Opens coat to reveal a string of very cheap digital watches) These are yer actual exquisite, kosher hand-crafted digital chronometers, manufactured by them cunning, well, ne'er mind where, let's just say T watches, wherever that is. Now I'm goin' to be knockin' these out at five sovs a piece, and who's goin' to want yer Rolex after they've set eyes on these, these are the genuine executive model for the upwardly mobile, my son jus' like Andy McNab do wears!
TAIL: (Examining one briefly before Arfur snatches it back) But it's got My Little Pony on it!
ARFUR: You, my son, have not been perusing the international trade journals like what I have. I have it on the best authority that no chevalier d'industry (Says this in a totally anglicized way) would be seen dead wivout one of these next to his Filofax and digit cellphone and an armalite. And for you Tail, I'll take 3 sovs, (quickly) no .. no .. I know what you're goin' to say. How can I afford to lose out on such a deal, but like I always say, blood's thicker than water, 'Er indoors has got a soft spot for you Tail, and I promised 'er I'd look after yer. (Hands watch over to Tail) I'll take it out of yer first week's wages.
(To audience) By the way, some people say I employ a MINDER. What a ridiculous word wiv its connotations of violence and muscle! Tail here is my EMPLOYEE, merely an invoice chaser, a RE-minder that certain people wot owe me money 'ave obligations.
Now then my son, you get round to Alderman Fitzwarren's literary agency and remind him that unless he pays that monkey he owes me for insurance, a slight calamity might accidentally befall his business. So he'd better reach into his bin and fork out the readies, even if he is boracic, otherwise he might get a spanking! Tell 'im he's got twenty-four hours ......'ere, what's the time now then?
TAIL: (Consults his Little Pony watch) Forty-three seventeen Arfur. (Shakes it, puzzled)
ARFUR: (Quickly) Well there yer go Tail my son, one of the features of that timepiece is the ability to provide an instant read-out of the ambient temperature in degrees centigrade.
TAIL: (Partly convinced, but still gazing at watch with some doubts) Oh..er..right Arfur. Now this 'ere Alderman geezer. Wot's he done wrong then boss?
ARFUR: He's definitely out of order! He'd got a nice little earner, fillin' up his Jack and Jill wiv a string of them there McTartan fella ....
TAIL: What?
ARFUR: Jack and Jill ..... till! When I first knew him, he had this fruit and veg stall, up in the morning, four o'clock, shlepping to the market, a few sacks o' the King Edwards, two boxes of spring onions and a bag o' cauliflowers and you're in business! No VAT on the fruit and you're half way to Marbella. But he got fancy ideas, Tail boy! BUPA, and sideboard from IKEA, his own ship and an Alderman's chain round his thingy.
TAIL: Thingy?
ARFUR: Thingy my son ......er neck, sort a!
TAIL: Well wot do I say to him Arfur?
WHISTLING HEARD: ENTER TWO PUNK RATS (literary agents assistants). They are wearing Little Pony watches which they glance at suspiciously very now and then)
ARFUR: You tell him unless he does right by us then the girls 'ere is goin' to pay a little visit to his warehouse! 'Er indoors reckons they're eatin' us out of house and home, and I'm sure they could be very much at home in a nice cosy warehouse full of comestibles!
Right then, get over to Alderman Fitzwarren's and put the frighteners on 'im!
PUNK RAT 1 (aka Beth): 'Ere Uncle Arfur, them watches you flogged us ...... mine says forty three seventeen.
ARFUR: SHHHH!! (He glances at his watch) Yeah, that's right. Double British Summer Time innit!
PUNK RAT 2 (aka Bikergirl): Oh, right Uncle Arfur!
TAIL: Show me.
PUNK RAT 1 & PUNK RAT 2: (in unison) show us yours first...
TAIL: Roun' the back.
PUNK RAT 1 & PUNK RAT 2 (in unison) Ooooooooooh...a! You reckon you can 'andle us, then?
TAIL: No cheese...
(EXIT Tail & punks)
PUNK RAT 1 & PUNK RAT 2 SLAPS HANDS TOGETHER:
PUNK RAT 2: Double Time, innit!
PUNK RAT 1: Nah, time'n 'alf wiv him. He's all mou'f...
-------------------------
ARFUR: (Aside to audience) I got a feelin' this could be just the start! Today I make an Alderman an offer he can't refuse. Who knows, tomorrow I could 'ave the Lord Mayor of London hisself dancin' to my tune. (Leers at audience) All I gotta do is shift another ten gross of these dodgy clocks and then I'll be laughin' all the way to the Bank!
SONG: To tune of, YOU'VE GOT TO PICK A POCKET OR TWO
(OPENS COAT TO REVEAL WATCHES)
I've got to flog a T watch or two
I've got to flog a T watch or two, lads
I've got to flog a T watch or two.
EXITS TRIUMPHANTLY COUNTING REMAINING WATCHES INSIDE COAT.
<<CURTAIN>>
PUSSKINS BACKS THROUGH CURTAIN, TURNS, BOWS TO AUDIENCE.
PUSSKINS GRINS: I get to sleep with Alice Fitzwarren tonight, and DICK . (sighs) She promised!
DICK WHIT SUDDENLY APPEARS:
DICK: Oh no you aren't!
PUSSKINS: Oh yes I am!
DICK: Oh no you am't!
PUSKINS: Wanna bet?
DICK: NO!
PUSSKINS: Oh...(smiles appealingly) Why not?
DICK: You know why!
PUSSKINS: Why?
DICK: Don't know anymore...I'm confused!
PUSSKINS: About what? (sighs impatiently)
DICK: About Every fink! (looks thoughtful) Alice finks if I write books I'll be rich, richer than my wildest dreams.
PUSSKINS: SO?
DICK: What can I write about?
PUSSKINS (aka undercover cat): While you're finkin' about it I'm off to jump in bed with Alice.
CAT EXITS SHARPISH. DICK SLUMPS TO HIS KNEES.
DICK: How shall I begin, how shall I begin, what shall I write?
ENTER PUNK RATS. (in unison) Watch' er mate. Time'n 'alf or double up?
DICK LOOKS AT HIS OWN BRAND-SPANKING T WATCH. DEPRESSES BUTTON AND T LIGHTS UP.
DICK: Oh...23.01
PUNK RATS LOOK AT EACH OTHER THEN AT DICK:
PUNK RAT 1: You sure about that?
DICK: Yes!
PUNK RAT 2: Well we ain't too sure we can do a 23 to 1 job!
DICK: Job?
PUNK RAT 1: (swaggers toward him hands on hips chewing gum) See that 'd be a bit time consumin' an' we likes to get on wiv it, like...
PUNK RAT 2: (swivels foot back and forth on spiked heel) Like your wrist-torch, mate.
DICK: You do?
PUNK RAT 2: (moves closer) Yeah, giv's us a shows of it!
BEFORE DICK KNOWS WHAT HAS HAPPENED THE PUNK RATS ARE UPON HIM.
<<SECOND CURTAIN COMES DOWN>>
The PLOT thickens in SCENE TWO, a nasty TWIST in the TALE. Will Pusskin rescue DICK from the PUNK RATS, or will Alice relieve the tension and save him from a fate worse than death?
I accept no responsiblity for parts played because all could well be imposters...
>>By buddy (Thursday, 27 Nov 2003 02:28)
... t-the plot chickens, I'd say...
'¬_¬
Omigosh, it'll take me some time to read this... er, better rush & prepare my lunch...
Wow, swell job, buddy!
O_O'
>>By Deusrexmachina (Thursday, 27 Nov 2003 06:33)
Is it Buddy or Buttons, F Troops own panto season, we'll (sorry Buddy'll) earn a fortune. Punk Rat One - perfect fit. Part two please missus.
>>By Bethan (Thursday, 27 Nov 2003 09:37)
LOL!!!! F Troop could start his own publishing house !
>>By Lynn (Thursday, 27 Nov 2003 11:18)
well hopefully AM or CR won't copy any of this for their next book.
>>By borisette (Thursday, 27 Nov 2003 12:42)
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